Thursday, December 31, 2015

30 you

I actually liked my best 9 of 2015 tho half of em are from 2014 like why?
This is a picture perfect. Me working out (yes!), travelling, a guy, an ex boyfriend haha, me on my birthday (a year older, a year wiser) my family, my cousins, my bestfriend.
It's a picture perfect.

Just like how I feel about myself, my life right now. Perfect where it is.

2015 has been a lot about openness, agreeing to disagree, and ended with a closure.

2016, still the same resolution; to find innerpeace, to travel, to keep fit, to work out, to lose weight, to save money, and to find love.

30 you allllllllll!!!! oh my godddddddd

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

too much is changing

Today I sent Amalin off to Bintulu. I know it's nothing but too much is changing.

She grew up so fast. I remember the first time I ever took her out she was only 3years old. She couldn't even speak properly and she was still having her baby fat.

Now she's ten and all I know is the next time I see her she could be a grown up teenanger who doesn't want to hang around an old maid.


Tuesday, December 22, 2015


That is the theme of this year's company annual dinner, where I came dressed as myself because hidup ini satu pentas kehidupan haha. I wasn't expecting anything so yeah, from the office off to the ballroom.

Then I was surprised by the doorgift, it's something that I've been wanting for a long time,  A TRAVEL ADAPTOR! and the food was actually really good, and I won a lucky draw worth RM250!

When you expect less, you will always get more.

And in a sea of people I didn't expect to see you but somehow I did. Somehow when I wasn't even looking you showed yourself and I just couldn't take my eyes off you (tho you came with another woman but it's okay because movie ini belum habis LOL)

Thank you HP for a memorable night. It has been 5 amazing years and 4 annual dinners, it just gets better everytime.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Factory Reset

So my phone decided to go jammed on me. something about has stopped or shit, it was terrible. Only when your phone doesn't work will you realise how much you are depending on it.

Stalking people, alarm clock, music, all that jazz. I couldn't sleep thinking will I wake up tomorrow now that my phone won't wake me up. What if my mother calls in the middle of the night (my father is here in the next room so it was actually not a problem but my mind wonders somehow.. it's that bad) I think I suffered depression from looking at my phone and all the notifications but not able to read or do anything at all!

So. I decided that's it. I'm buying new phone! But I'm no some rich fag who eats cakes on diapers so.. decided on some alternative.

Googling around, some people even extended help to recover my phone but to no avail, I stepped up. Backed up as many data as possible and wipe my phone off then BAM. GOOD AS NEW!

Phewwwwwwwwww pats on my back!!!

The first thing I did was to restore all gone applications (my top priority was Whatsapp and Spotify) once done I figured everything including contacts and stuff, this was the best part.

While restoring, I get to choose, the apps that I no longer think I need, same goes to contacts. All the messages were gone, history log, it's not there. Like nothing ever happened. 

It somehow feels so good, like a new start. Like I can finally move on from a break up message or something (there was none don't worry) and it made me feel all brand new.

Sometimes, all we need is a factory reset.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Teman Lelaki Sumpahan 2.0

I've wrote about how I felt so much in love with Ezwan Lutfi of Teman Lelaki Upahan here. It's not the person, it's the character. So hard to find someone like that isn't it.

However.. last Saturday we went to watch Mak Cun theatre. I had no idea what it was all about, but I went anyway because a friend dragged me haha. BUT, it was so good, I had good time laughing!

The show ended pretty late so we rushed for Asar prayer. By the time we both were done praying, the meet and greet session was over (or maybe there was no meet and greet, I don't know) but anyway I was not entitled for meet and greet anyway.

As we walked back to our car, there he was... walking his mother to her car. Just me, my friend, him and his mother. And the rain.

We stopped under the rain and I waited for him to wave his mother goodbye and all before asking for a photo. Drama much, rain and all.

To answer a common question.. 'is he really good looking?' To my eyes, he is. In fact, he is all that I want (auw..).

Raja be like, if this is all you want, Zac, you are so getting married before me. This kind of guy.. SO EASY TO FIND.

LOLSSS Seriously!

Friday, November 20, 2015

13 going on 30

That moment when your adik dorm invited you to her wedding. .
The last time you saw each other, she was thirteen and you were sixteen, thirteen years ago. She hadn't even have her period yet! Haha. 

The thing about being form 4 is you supposed to be matured and em kids supposed to respect you and stuff, but me, i don't give good impression. I was the senior that asked my juniors to cover me if I'm late to class or if I ponteng prep, they got to ponteng with me. Shima, on the other hand, was the garang senior (you made a mess you clean it up or she will hunt you down haha) and Haida was the skema one.. if you ponteng solat jemaah or wake up late or something you will get a mouthful from her.

By the way, today I saw Munah. She is still the same Munah, bubbly, talks a lot, funny, out of her mind sometimes. So I feel like she's still 13 and I'm like.. you're too young to get married sista! And she replied

'I'm 26!!!'

They grew up too fast! Sigh.

'And you're like.. 30?'

'Hello!!! I'm 29 okay!'

'One year.. big deal..'

She didn't know better did she... I'll make sure Shima and Haida teach her a good lesson later!

I'm happy to know my sisters are doing so well, anyway (Munah made me informed of how the 4 of my adik dorm doing in a report of 15 minutes presentation..). We were so closed and a tragedy separated us.. so we are like children going on different custody. Haha. Well those were the days!

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

The Bangkok Trip

Once upon a time, a pair of friends randomly decided to visit Bangkok on a weekend. It was so random, that only after what felt like MILLION years later, I got to see the photos! Haha.

A trip is always a great trip no matter how random it was, I can't believe we still remember what we did, where we went and what we ate / purchased (I don't travel that much, I should remember all that, but Aishah is a jetsetter!) Today we had a great time reminiscing all these while browsing through all these just-found photos that have been missing since aeons ago.

I remembered I love Bangkok, tho. It was so friggin hot (we went sometime around June, Vivy Yusof got married while we were there. Now, she has 2 babies already... that's how long!), but we lost count how much we walked. we were there for 3 days only, if I'm not mistaken, yet we managed to go to almost every tourists attractions.

Platinum Pratunam, Grand Palace, Wat Arun, Hard Rock Cafe Bangkok, Siam Niramit, Chatuchak.. what else. That place where people buy Thai Silk.. can't hardly remember. We stayed at Woriburi Sukhumvit, nice place BUT non halal breakfast people, be careful. It's in the middle of the city and walking distance to nearest MRT station (Nana) made our trip easier access to so many places.

These, however, happened 3 years ago. I have no idea if Bangkok is still the same (i'm pretty sure some haven't changed like the food are to die for and stuff). Time to revisit, maybe?

Looking at old travel photos is never good for both my emotion and my bank account.

p/s: I asked Aishah if there is atleast one picture of both of us and she said.. not so many. we took turns to take photo so there's a pic of each of us at the same spot. How lame, life before selfie stick, people!

Monday, October 12, 2015


If life needs a soundtrack, this would be it for me right now.

It does look like I'm the one singing btw. LOLLLs

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Couldn't care less.

If you have kids and you know anyone who doesn't have one but dying to, don't tell them 'how lucky they are' to be able to do things that you're not able to do because you have kids.

You have no idea how much trouble they have gone through trying to be in your place.

Don't complain about your kids to me either, I don't wanna know and I don't really care. You're in it by yourself.

Tell your husbands. You know problem with you people who tell everything on facebook on Instagram, is you don't want to tell your husbands because 'they just don't listen'.


Monday, September 14, 2015


Funny thing about Joe is, it comes when you least expected it (some people say). When your younger cousin - who is close to you - was (suddenly, out of nowhere) getting engaged, it's nothing unusual that you'd get a comparison.

And my friend thought being the only girl in the family I don't get compared to anybody, well in a perfect world I won't.

My cousins are buying houses, going further studies, getting married/engaged, getting promoted, expanding family, dealing with cancer and stuffs and I'm here like 'what do I eat for lunch today?'. So much fun.

I have no bad feeling about watching a lil cousin getting married before me, if I have to be honest. Because it's what she wants, she ought to get it. The thing is, PEOPLE think I have a problem with it, and I have a problem with what PEOPLE think. If only they would shut up. No. If only they would ask me, what I actually want.

But no. They can ask, but whatever I say, is in no way getting a pass without getting judged. SO yeah. I might as well keep quiet and just smile anytime they say 'Oh when is it going to be your turn? We are all not getting any younger, you know?'

Oh thanks for putting that to my senses, NO I DIDN'T KNOW. *fakesmile*

Remember that cousin we all used to know? What happened to her? Maybe you asked her too many questions that she didn't want to answer.

I am genuinely happy (I can tell everyone is, we all are already discussing colours and stuff) but in no way that I'm not getting impression like 'don't you want any of this?'

Sick. Sick. People.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Rajuk Hati

Selepas merajuk selama 9 bulan, I akhirnya succumb to the need to go to the stadium and breath the football air. Tak boleh merajuk lama-lama, nanti jadi dendam.

Merajuk sebab apa. Sebab masa AFF Suzuki final match hari tu I tak boleh pergi, I dekat Shanghai. SEDIH GILAAA marah diri sendiri sebab how can you be so stupid tak check AFF schedule before beli tiket, lepas tu kalah like wth. So merajuklah (tak tentu pasal).

Lepas tu lama dah I tak tengok bola tapi semalam rasa macam 'kau dah kenapa Azhani?' So i texted my cousin to ask him if he got any ticket to the match. He didn't have any but he bought us (my brother and I) the tickets anyways, so nice of him. Thanks Anwar!

I still have no idea which one I love the most, watching the game, or watching the crowd. But last night, Ultras Malaya validated it for me. They definitely STEAL the limelight.

It started with them marching in the stadium chanting FAM Bangsat, and then they went silent for about 20minutes (Ultras never go quiet, when they do, you gotta be alarmed). and then, there was the first smoke, and the rest, is history.

The game was abandoned, the players were attacked (by flares) and there were flares everywhere it was a moment to witness! Weird enough, we enjoyed it, before we run off like we were attacked by zombies


Oh well, the ultras merajuk for too long, sekarang dah jadi dendam. Well done. Whatever it is, I believe, this is a plot twist.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Langkawi 8 years later

I used to love Langkawi. I used to say one day when I got married this is where I want to go for our honeymoon.

Some things are still the same, like the coldness of Dayang Bunting water and the clear coast of Pulau Beras Basah. But I remember that posh feeling, sipping coffee at The Loaf near the bay where the lay their yachts, it does not feel the same anymore.

And what's up with the huge (I mean really huge) store for shopping? And Cenang Beach feels like Bangla Road already?

Last time I went there were bunch of friends (and strangers) and it was one of the best memory, so i thought it's pretty hard to top it.

But I was wrong, with my family, everything seems perfect.

Except that, I vow to myself, next time I'm going to Langkawi, no driving, no taking ferry haha. Until they upgrade their jetty and ferry system that is.

And look at thattt whoever found the girl on the left please return to her parents T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T

Friday, August 14, 2015

You took my heart away.

To all girls, who once have fought for their relationship, but get dumped by their ex-boyfriends anyways.
Here's a thought.
You are not the loser - for getting dumped. He is not a loser too - for letting you go.
Don't say that just to please yourself. Stop with all this woman power shit.

But, you once were a fighter, for wanting to work things out, when he chose to walk away.

So, no one loses here, but at least, you fought for it.
Be that person who always want to work things out and know that even if it didn't work out, you have done your part. 

To quote a cousin;
All these can't-haves, might-ifs and should-bes is a potent recipe for chronic over thinking. Let's just be thankful for the problems that we don't have

Excuse me and my emotional moment. I have been dwelling in the sad sad part of Grey's Anatomy and it kinda affect me. Bad bad Grey's Anatomy.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015


Ever since we moved into our new house (we; me and my brother, new house; not so new house but a new place for us) i have developed a new passion, and it is cooking. Haha it's not really passion (passion is too deep) it's just, something I enjoy doing.

My friends, who knew me too well, know that this is a lifetime achievement. I don't cook, it's just not my forte. Our place came with a nice kitchen and I love spending time in it. So since we moved in I spent most time at home, cooking and just chilling watching TV or not. Sometimes all a woman need is a nice kitchen to start functioning as one haha.

I love to cook, yes, but it's not top notch. But when I cook I made people eat them. My poor brothers, cousins, and friends are my victims so far. I constantly bug people to come hang out at my place so I can feed them. Later they'll be 'omg the crazy cooking lady again, pretend to be sleeping!!'

Just so you know, if you're not doing anything anytime, please let me know. I really love hosting people and you will get to eat my lousy cooking sometimes.

Monday, August 3, 2015

7 years today

7 years ago I reported duty to my first ever employer.
7 years later look where I am now.

I remember a few years back I talked to a cousin who resigned after 7 years of employment.
'Why must you quit? 7 Tahun, mesti banyak gaji!' - so naive me.

Look at me now, 7 years, I'm a laughing stock.
But syukur masih ada kerja #syukurselalu

ps: you want to read that link. i mentioned something about being 29 7 years ago. life is ironic like that.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Genuinely Happy

Ramadhan are going so fast. Remember those days when Ramadhan was dreading. Haha. Those were the ignorant days.

Now. you just can't wait for Ramadhan each year and you didn't want it to end and you just miss it every time it passed. How we have grown. Alhamdulillah.

The other day we had a simple iftar at our usual place and I wanted to perform Teraweh. So I dragged my friends with me. The moment they said OK (of course they are OK they are great people) I was so happy I felt like dancing (how contrary haha). I actually danced tho.

And then another great thing happened. While waiting for Isya' prayer, another friend so randomly walked in OMG it felt like a little party in there.

I was so happy. So genuinely happy. It's a luxury not many got to say, so be thankful.

Tu baru jumpa kat masjid. Macamana lah kalau jumpa kat syurga. I SO DESPERATELY wanna go to syurgaaa (with my friends) weyyyy.

We kept on talking about that little coincidence of how we stumbled upon each other there and she keeps on saying People who go to Masjid together stay together. Amin.

So many things to improve yet the progress is too slow, but hopefully we are all on track. Hopefully.

Slow down, Ramadhan. Let us pick up.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Post Celebration

Still talking about my birthday, guys. Yes. Because I'm party gal like that.

Few months ago I found out the Phuket is pronounced as PU-KET instead on FU-KET haha OMG why. I have been FUKET all my age, it's all a lie. How did it suddenly became important to me? Because we decided for turning 30 Cik Ilah deserves a weekend away (in PUKET that is!)

So, one week after my birthday, we flew to Phuket. One birthday girl, one self centered belated birthday girl, and a happy family of Pink, Naurah and Lepp.

One of the famous question I got prior coming back from #ilah30Phuket is, how is it travelling with an infant. Tell you what, Naurah, not ordinary infant. She's very easy to handle and my god such a sweetie pie too.

It was a quality holiday, heavenly food, funny painful thai massages (that we kept craving for more), crazy people and lots of beach. I could use a beach holiday anytime anyway.

and last Friday, my Onthursday girls treat me to a Karaoke session. My birthday is now complete. I shall age gracefully towards 30!

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


They say you are not rich until you have things that money can't buy.
I wondered what it's like to have both. I don't anymore.

This has to be put here, because for the first time in my life, I don't care if I get a birthday wish from any particular guy (the kind of peace of mind you get when all your crush are married). As a matter of fact, I don't care about any wishes anymore. But you sweet people do anyways.

And, the amazing people I live with (#truestory). What did I do to deserve this.

Spoilt by cakes on my birthday weekend, what else is new.

And somebody also turns 29 on the same week (because May babies are awesome like that).

Thank you for being such an amazing friend.

Oh Allah, I pray that people I love are blessed with the same blessings that you have given me. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

The Best Wish

The best wish one can get on her Birthday is, 'We are so blessed to have you in the family'

I couldn't ask for more.
As much as it is so cliche, the best thing about my life is still my family and friends.

How did I get so lucky.

p.s: I let Aaron go last week. things happened for a reason. Maybe the worst decision I've ever taken. But I believe in all the good things.

Friday, May 15, 2015

You should.

Life is full of opinionated people.

You should buy your own place.
You should buy it near to where you work because you will save money on travelling.
No. You should find a hot spot and buy for investment.
You should just rent a place to yourself.
Or you should just rent a room, it's okay.

You should buy it now while the price are low.
No you should buy it later when the price are higher.

You should save money for travel.
The same you should save money for something else.

You're changing car? You should consider imported cars because the interest are low.
But the same you should also consider local cars because the spare parts are easier to get.

You should get an insurance, you know, for the unknown future.
You should also look after your health.

If you asked for opinions, you will get them.
But not anymore. Even if you don't ask, you will still get them.

People always act like they know how much you earn and how much you spend anyways.
Maybe the have a way to peek into your salary payslips and bank account.
You should just actually do what you want.
Because in the end, you're gonna live with yourselves, and they will still continue with their You-shoulds.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Emotional Retirement Plan

Will we still be friends when we're this old?


What do you mean, ''sure''? l could barely get us together for the weekend and we're all mobile.

Hey ''New Yorker'', l'm talking to you. How are we gonna make it to 70 if you've already zoned me out? 

l'm listening. Talk fast.

Friendships don't magically last lt's like savings. You don't expect to wake up when you're old and find a big bucket of money.

Did you finally open that lRA?

No. My point is, we need an emotional retirement plan. This is important, making time for each other and taking trips like this. As we can see, at the end of the line, it's gonna be us ladies riding a bus.

- Carrie and Miranda, Sex and The City season 5, episode 3.

I gotta stop watching Sex and the City pronto. The more I do, the more I feel like they are speaking about me.

Monday, April 20, 2015


I wonder what it's like 10 years later when I look at some of the pictures I took today and wonder 'What happened to this?'

Once I took a picture of 4 people, so close and connected. And today none of this 4 speaks to each other. None.

What happened to this.

Things changed. A lot. I can't even tell what happened to the photos I took 10 years ago.

I'm scared to think that 10 years to come LOTS more are going to change and I'm going to be the only person who keeps dwelling in the past.

And even worst if I have kids and they see my photos and they'll be like, who are these people mother? And I can't even find an answer.

Serce means heart. What happened to that?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The beach

I finally seek help for my rare skin disease. it's not a disease, it's like a condition, called psoriasis.

Psoriasis ni penyakit orang kaya kaya so bila terkono dekat orang miskin macam I ni mampu garuk je la. but last night, it was burning and itchy and I couldn't sleep so I decided today I should surrender.

The doctor said he can't do anything to help this (ouch) but he can suggest one thing to make it less / better.

'You know what you can do? Seminggu sekali pergilah mandi Port Dickson ke Morib ke...'

I mean, I've never been happier to hear a diagnosis / prognosis from a doctor. I have like millions of ideas on my mind right now. The right excuse to go to the beach all the time.

'But mom, the doctor said this is best for my skin!' me hanging up on my mom right before I jump into Maldives sea.


Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Move on

Korang dah move on. Kalau belum move on tak apa. Tengoklaa siapa juga yang masih belum move on.

Biasalah. nak jatuh cinta bukan senang. Dah putus cinta memang susahla nak move on.

Jangan marah ok.

Last week demam. KK pon demam. Lepas tu baru nak kebah Ann balik from Europe sambung demam. sampai hari ni. lama lagi nak sembuh ni kalau hari hari duk jemur tengah panas macamni.

Layan je la sementara masih ada cinta.

ps: Finally heard from my Girl all the way from Tanah Suci anddd my Girl from the NZ. Alhamdulillah for this blessing. Memang I jeles dengan mereka tapi I lebih bahagia bila diorang bahagia. I wanita terbahagia. bersama kammmuuuu.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


"Abang Ngah sangat heartbroken I don't know what to say"

26 episodes, 7 weeks later, this one particular line, breaks my heart into million pieces.

Seriously, if you were mine, EL. I'll never break your heart.


Thursday, March 19, 2015

Teman Lelaki Sumpahan

I know I like to watch Malay dramas a lot (I do, I love the simple unrealistic, non existence characters and dramas, #teammudahterhibur) but I never really take anything seriously.

I don't remember when was the last time I like something (fictional) this much that it hurts me so bad.

Ezwan Luthfi has brought such a big impact to me that everytime I watch the drama, I wanted to cry. It hurts me so bad that I don't know if there's Ezwan Luthfi for me out there. And I don't mean the guy playing it. I know he could be perfect but he's not Ezwan Luthfi.

He's not perfect but he's everything that I want.

My days and nights revolves around him, his clips and photos and everything he says. It was so bad that I worried if I have sinned for thinking about it so much. I had to talk about it just to get it out of my system. So I talked to a cousin.

I was expecting for someting like 'Get over it, it's just a character.' 'There's no one like him in real life'. 'If you want Ezwan Luthfi then you have to be Kyra Lydia" bla bla non supportive talks.

But, instead, she said, 'If you want it, ask for it. One day he shall come, and that's what you asked for'

Thank you, for being supportive, albeit most probably she was just saying what I want to hear.
But sometimes that's what we want.

Monday, March 9, 2015

My international day

So yesterday was International Women Day. Here's how I spent being an international woman; went to the hardware store, twice, to find the suitable pipe for my washing machine.

The first one, didn't fit, so I brought the washing machine hose to Mr.DIY insisted for the hardware store to find the perfect fit for me, and it worked!

Installed a washing machine on my own, new level of validation for 'I don't need a man in my life' - though I actually cried for my brother's help, but he was clueless too. LOLS brother.

At Mr. DIY, the hardware guy asked me, what kind of washing machine did I buy. When I said 'A Toshiba', he immediately replied 'I knew it, the pink/purple one rightttt?'

pic googled

Don't judge me. My washing machine is pretty so whattt.

Friday, March 6, 2015

This never gets old

A wee bit emotional this past week because timehop has been reminding me that this time, since the last 6 years, I have been travelling to Jakarta.

All those photos, all those song quotes from Java Jazz. All those sunda food. All those coffee.

I really am missing Jakarta.

Somebody please take me there :(

Friday, February 27, 2015

Moving Out 2.0

The highlights of my days as of late consist of constant travels between Sen Heng, Courts, SSF, IKEA, Homepro, Index Living Mall, and kedai perabot ah cheng plaza puchong whatnots. So many things to buy, so many factors to consider and so little money (what else is new).

It's not easy moving in from a tiny room to a whole house that you rent. Because it's a rented place you don't wanna spend too much on it, but you still wanna build a home that you want to go back to after a day at work. (and sometimes welcome your friends for sleepovers OMG CANT WAIT TO PARTY AT MY HOUSE)

And I know it's old news and cliche but oh my, aren't house appliances pretty to look at but when you look at the price tag it's so ugly? I mean whats up with iron board costs us almost a hundred ringgit? seriously. piece of board, with steels. i might as well do my ironing on piece of cloth.

The house now is in Blue color (I have no idea what was up with previous tenant) and we are planning to repaint it next week. thats another whole story. the point is, tomorrow is the big day. I'm gonna try to squeeze my queen size mattress into my neo. It's going to happen. you're going to be amazed.

If you desperately wanna buy me housewarming gift, I welcome an iron board and all sorts kitchen appliances even cutleries. I still haven't got that figured out. I said IF (you can read it as please too).

A little preview.

Already smells so ikea.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Moving out

When people go 'You should buy your own place' on me, I'd tell them 'Chill, Carrie Bradshaw rents until she's 40.

Of course then she met a multimillionaire most eligible bachelor, but still.

I never thought moving in my own place (new rented house that is) is tiring and exhausting and draining my 29 years old energy so fast. I'm old.

I'd do anything once my father agreed on it, so when he said that I should rent a place on my own (so that my brother can stay with me) I was all excited. Imagining 2 doors refrigerators and front load washing machine and 2 seater sofa with a Poang armchair in my living room. Air Conditioned living room, actually. How ambitious.

Alrighty, off to go buy a TV. laters baby.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Lets Stay Together

It was such a beautiful day, the day Hazirah got married.
Every time I hold my phone I feel the need to look at em pictures (all of em) over again.
So pretty.

My friends are so pretty it's intimidating, but I'm so lucky.

I feel good whenever I'm around them, I think they have no idea how much I love them.
(I don't always say I love them, so I guess they had no idea, but I do)
It breaks my heart whenever I wanna see them but they don't feel the same.
I just couldn't contain.

The only song that I can think of while looking at this pictures are Let's Stay Together - Al Green.
Because that's what I want.

I have so much love for my girls it's almost illegal.

Till death do us all apart.
And till death do you both apart too, Hazirah and Helmi.

*All these photos are from Aisha's and Jakas' camera.

Friday, February 6, 2015

The struggle is real

First world problems are still problems.

BSB to have a concert in Malaysia and Singapore on the same date as the Family Day.

Why not. I mean there's 52 weekends in one year and I have waited for 20 years for this to happen and I have to choose BSB over my family? not in a million years.

And then, I was trying to look at life the bigger way, like Raja said focus on bigger thing (while I play Larger Than Life in my head and cry again) there it is, a tweet.

Malaysia, again, is famous for all the wrong reason.

In the meantime, I just haha. haha. haha. Well we did have a plan to watch this in Singapore, we already seen this coming.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Long Shower

My cousin turned 31 2 days ago. We waited for her to dinner so she apologized for making us wait a bit long.

'Sorry to keep all waiting. I just had a longggg shower'

'Must be thinking 'oh so this is how it feels like to be 31?' right?!' I said.

And she said 'yeah..pretty much like it'

'So how does it feel like?' I inquire with curiosity.

'Ahh... just wish tomorrow will be better!'

2 years to go before I had a birthday that I wish for better tomorrow. Haha.

No I don't blame 31, pretty sure it's awesome t be 31. blame the long hot shower. that must be it.

Monday, January 26, 2015


I was having a bad day. (Yes all boring posts start with I was having a bad day). I felt so much betrayed and back-stabbed and I have no one to turn to but it's okay because I believe I'm on my way up and the journey is not easy, but eyes on the prize baby, eyes on the prize.

The new role is not easy, but easy are for chickens. I'm a woman. It's taking so much time and energy and I can't believe I'm a now that person who takes work home. shameful.

Anyways. I was trying my best to multitask and then my super tiny brain decided not to cooperate. Why of all times of all days, now has to be that moment it took me back to that particular evening we spent in Jimbaran, Bali.

It was a funny evening. To most people Jimbaran dinner is supposed to be romantic but not for us, of course. Bunch of funny party poppers.

So we had a dress code, everybody must wear long dress, black to be exact (we didn't plan to color coordinate but we did somehow. when you spent so much time with somebody this kind of creepy coincidence happened.) There we were on our luxurious Bali cab ride to Jimbaran, started with we had no clue which restaurant should we dine in. Bummer!

So, 3 ladies all clad in black dresses and clutches, fought the sand and stroll along the beach, trying to figure out which one is the restaurant everyone on the blog recommended! Clever, for not taking note. Sexy, not, for struggling to walk on the beach, not to mention, super hungry too.

And it doesn't help that we found it's funny to take pictures / videos with that selfies stick and now, it's dark. Sun is nowhere to be seen, oh heyyy we just had a sunset in Jimbaran and we didn;t watch the sun set. haha.

We laughed so hard we couldn't even finish the food we ordered because I guess we were high (we were starving and we laughed a lot so that kinda gave you the drugs) and then, and then, there was this busking group came from table to table and serenade people songs.

So. Very. Lovely. I wanna cry.

I requested 2 songs. Wonderful tonight, and, waw what was the second one?! They sang them perfectly tho.

Still don't remember which restaurant we ended up dining but to save you the time, it's not one of the recommended but the price is still cheap and the taste is OK. So safe to say any restaurants you go is OK I guess.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Handsome Daddy

Had lunch with Magh, Maryam and Fatimah today. It has been a while since I see this bunch. Fatimah takes instructions now, such a good big girl. Maryam just came back from school. Do not let me start on this one, how old I feel now that she goes to school and all. Ok I'm just going to cry at the corner.

So I asked Maryam, what she did at school, and as a hopeless aunty, I will always ask kids if there's a handsome boy in their school.

To what Maryam replied, 'Ada, handsome macam walid!'

We (me the irresponsible aunty, and the mother!) laughed hysterically in the shop. I mean of course Maryam's father is handsome, but I was expecting handsome macam Prince Hans (of Frozen, you know).

Ahh dads in the eyes of kids, how lucky. But just for the record Maryam did say Che Hani is pretty so I get what she means now.

Monday, January 19, 2015


Few weeks back we went to have lunch at Jalan TAR and we spotted Caliph Buskers in front of Sogo. Like other KL City People who are easily amused and entertained by busking, I spent a good 5 minutes listening and recording them playing Widuri and Keroncong Untuk Ana before my girldfriends literally dragged me to the restaurant.

Dear Edry, I discovered them first. Now I have to spend maybe one million bucks to bring them to my wedding. Though I am torn between feeling good to em buskers for this big break or to feel bad that Edry is using them to get back to Aweera, but as a new groupie, I am still so proud buskers. Well done.

And I really honestly think Joe deserved this. It's about time for some credits to hip hop and this is Joe's first time in AJL. You know when you want something to win, gotta let em pioneers take it.

Growing up listening to Too Phat, I truly appreciate this precious gift for Joe. Plus that Sonaone guy is damn good looking so I really don't mind him bagging the trophy home.

The night before, we went to the full dress rehearsal and somebody let me have the Post Party Passes, so there we were right after the show, eating nasi lemak and teh tarik with Dato' Hattan and Datin Ariani because why not (and gawking a lot too).

Earlier that evening we had a bachelorette lunch for Hazirah and the day ended with a post party at AJL. SO much pressure for the next bachelorette do.

I couldn't believe on Friday Aishah asked me what was I gonna do during weekend and I said.. I just wanna stay in.. because it feels like staying in lately.. LIE. LIE. LIE.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Days are reflected

My mood, are often reflected by what I chose to hear in the morning. My ears are picky like that. I put on my earphone and I could spend one hour shuffling on youtube trying to find what my brain feels like accepting that morning.

Some days it's Amy Winehouse, some days it's Maliq and D'Essentials with a lil bit of Raisa, some days it's Boyz II Men, sometimes I can listen to one song for one whole day for a few days (right now, Mewangi by Akim and Kau Tercipta by Lah Ahmad).

So how's 2015? My year started with a plan. Actually 2 plans. But these 2 plans basically just the way to execute the main plan; that is how to spend my salary for year 2015.


I decided to....... still further my studies! yes, But this time, I'll go local. Less effort, same effect. I can't believe I'm overachiever like that. Though I feel like I'll just sit here in my comfort zone trying to spend my money to fill my time. And then I ran out of money and I guess well maybe I can further study. Haha.

And, made a year plan of where to go (and finish that damn money still) it's a year plan no kidding. Man I have to get another life goal that is much bigger than skiing in Vermont.

And, weddings to attend (still), family day to plan (what else is new) and find a boyfriend (this never gets old). I have decided that I don't wanna be that girl who just sat there because she is traumatised from all that's happening around her. Boys are nasty, true, but I'm gonna get myself a keeper.

(And not the one with gloves and stand in between goalposts :)) tho that I don't mind!)

Wow. What's playing in my ears that brought me to all this crap? Sewindu - Tulus.