Saturday, July 26, 2014

You know you're home

Just as i arrived home this morning, the subuh adzan blaring from the nearby surau. I knew i missed my sahur with the family already.

Like usual, before going into my room, i would checked in parents' first, to say hi. They were both preparing for subuh prayer and ayah showed me something on the TV.

"Azizul made it to quater final, Kak!"

I knew i'm home when ayah greets me with sportsnews, always feels so good.

And i escorted mama to the kitchen, she said, "i prepared all these for you, thought you're would make it for sahur"

Food from heaven? I am home indeed.

If i were to recap all that happened the night before, this was totally worth it.

I am home with my 2 lazy ass brothers and my superloving parents, enjoying the last bit of Ramadhan and commonwealth games at the same time (can't help it the whole family are suckers for sports).

I hope your Ramadhan is ending pretty much heavenly too.

Ps: if ever in my life i need to double check and validate our friendship, Raja, i'll just recap that night. THANK YOUUU!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014


Tough times do not last, tough people do

Too many things happened since last week. I had an ultimate withdrawal syndrome. Was home for 4 days and watched both World Cup Finale and the last episode of Tajul Razin (all in one day) so when I came back to KL, I had to deal with no world cup, no Tajul Razin, and no goodness in mum's cooking.

Sigh. *imagine myself staring straight into the ceiling*

(only actually Mum packed me a whole goodness of her cooking enough for one week!)

And then we had potluck, only that the person who actually suggested the Potluck and also the person who suggested the date, FFKed. What else is new.

But it was a success anyway, we had fun, 7 of us (but of course we missed the others too, we are like that, we always missed people who never made it their business to meet us, sad to be us right?)

And then, bam. MAS lost one of their planes, again. It was a heart-wrenching night, I hadn't cried that hard ever since.

Just like that all my #firstworlproblems (world cup withdrawal whaaaa?) seems like so tiny, so very small, so nothing compared to when you die people call your body, remains.

So #staystrong. You do not know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you are left with.

PS: 4 more days of Ramadhan. I secretly wished the whole year is Ramadhan now.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Puasa at home

Just like previous years, I always take the Nuzul Quran public holiday long leave to Puasa with le parents at home. So as this year.

Came home expecting the usuals, mommy cooking delicious spread of food (of my request, by the way) and stuffs, you know, shopping for raya and all.

Only to notice one thing, pinky cartoons things all over the place!! In my room, in the kitchen, in the refrigerator, in parents' room. Amalin is marking her territory! Might as well she pee all over the place.

Don't get me start with all the kids applications she downloaded on mama's tab and all the pinky stickers on ayah phone and her lazy kinda day slipper at the porch. Did she live here when I was away???

But I got nothing to complain, I knew at least she was keeping my parents company while their kids were away. She certainly cheered them up on various days.

Here's a yellow bag of hers, in my room, sitting comfortably on my chair. Gotta sort my dressing table and make a space for all her combs and talcum and perfume and other stuffsss.

Ps: so very nervous for Germany. It's the final tonight!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Puasa So Far

It has been 12 days since Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah. If this is going to be your last Ramadhan are you satisfied with yourself? Do you think you can do better?

Tomorrow yours truly is going back to Terengganu. A few days with le parents, not enough, but hopefully suffice.

World Cup has been great, Germany MADE IT to the finals. You have nooo idea how I felt about it, sooo contented but not able to expose my feelings due to the attack on Gaza. To show some respect and concern, I have vowed to limit online postings on World Cup.

But I know Germany is going to win this!!

And............ I'm falling in love with Tajul Razin. Ahahaha. So lame.Sorry can't help it.


Better Ramadhan everyone, keep on praying for our brothers and sisters in Palestine.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Half Year has passed

Half year has passed, since. A lot, I swear this year, a Lot of things have happened and I am tired.

Started with some crazy idea to further study and then to do it abroad, the chase for the sponsorship which eventually I failed anyway. The travels to education agents to secure university places (which I scored, 2 in fact) and the preparation for mental and physical all at once in 6 months just to be disappointed by the news that no, I didn't secure the sponsorship. Not to mention all the ridiculous and brain-draining tests, and their costs. It costed me a lot of money.

And all the travels in between. Jogja, Jakarta, Kota Kinabalu, Family Day, Bali. Everything, all at once.

I could, if I wanted to, go miles further but this, what I already did, is already too much for me to take. I was actually too comfortable in my comfort zone and then I realised I needed to make a move because everybody is going somewhere and I'm not, so I did. But I'm tired now.

Raja-Khairuddin, Syaz S SBSC-ITV/OI [4:27 PM]:zacppl going placeplacesdoing stuffwe should do somethingthis yearkaman

When Raja asked me this, I had to be honest. I am beyond devastation. Of all people, I know I am the one who deserve the sponsorship the most but I did not get it. Now I have to plan a new plan and think of a new something and do what I have to do.

But I'm tired. Half year has passed and I'm still here. Tired.

If you see me, stop asking me to do something. Stop telling me to find new job or buy a house or change my car or find a boyfriend or whatever. I tried to do something but I failed so please. Just let me be.

Comfort in my comfort zone for a while. Because I'm tired.