Letting go of Ego.

17th of September.

2 years ago on this date I planned a suprise Buka Puasa for Husna together with Wan.

I should remember this date because eventually after we came back from the Buka Puasa something happened that even if it makes me a sore loser, it is hard to forget.

So today, this year, is very emotional for me. Last year it wasn't this hard, but this year it is.

Last week me and Husna got into rows, it risks the friendship and trust so I believed there's no way I can make it mend. I admitted it was my fault but on my defence there's always two sides of a story. So even if it makes me the sinner and she's the saint or vice versa, I believed no apologies can ever make things reverted.

I am quite upset that after what happened between both of us, she kind of stopped having relationship with people around me. I'd like to remind her that they are at no fault, I was. But I guess she's wise enough to think about that by herself. Plus after what we said to each other the other day, I don't see why she should listen to me anymore.

I admitted what Raja said, that I still care to even have rows with her is because we both still care for each other. Others, they are just too tired and sick. But I don't. Because whatever happened, I am living myself with the past, what good times we had together and bad turns we went together.

I want to be able to tell my children whose shoulder I cried on and whose laughter I shared with and not having them clueless of who the hell I'm talking about.

I am so tired of hating even when I think to hate it makes me sick. I just want to die peacefully knowing that I come clean to everyone.

I know she said it takes several years to build trust; but only a second to ruin it, but this is me letting go of my ego and hope that even if things will never be like what it use to be, at least she forgives me.

Because I do.

Ini untuk Aishah.

Dear Aishah,

Promise me even when you're gone, you'll still be you. Promise me you'll come back with more and more gossips and promise me when that happen we will do what we do best - gossipping.

Chah,

I have not been a good friend lately, oh yes you know why, but hey this is me being the bestest of a friend I could be, PLEASE COME BACK NOT BOYFRIEND-LESS :P

Just Kidding!

But please please go and come back safe ok!

Hey I know we have all the facebooks and blogs and messengers and all but the time difference, SUCKS!

So chah, take good care of yourself while I take good care of mine.


XoXo and Love,
Che Hani yang single.

ps: oh oh and raje, have a safe journey and great vacation too!

My cousins hated my BF because he kept me away from them =(

So after so many considerations and advices I've decided to dump my boyfriend IF ONLY I find a guy who can top him.

So, hunting for new boyfriend starts now (mental note : current BF doesn't have to know about this!)

Don't worry kawan-kawan sekalian. You will be updated =)

Oh terharu bila cousin pujuk duduk dekat. Rase mahu terbang kesana =(
(hint hint haha)

RINDU DAH DEKAT SEPUPU GILER SEMUE AAAAAAAAAAA

I think I want to break up with my boyfriend.

We met about a year ago. It was kind of love at first sight for both of us.

There were of course a few other guys, some are even better than the one I picked, but hey my guts told me he is the right one for me.

So we went on for more than one year now. of course there were ups and downs, there are no such thing as perfect relationship in this world.

Our anniversary came. Not only that he didn't have any present for me, he even told me that I didn't meet his girlfriend-expectation.

I cried all night long thinking what should I do, or could I have done better. But I think about it through and I'm very sure I've done my best-girlfriend.

So he has to adjust his expectation. But only if it is possible.

So I'm thinking of dumping him before he dumps me.

But dumping him, means dumping the whole circle of friends I met while I'm with him. They are wonderful people.

Plus, even if he's such a jerk, he's still that kind of guy that is hard to find at this kind of time.

And plus it was only a year, should I or should I not give him another chance (to appreciate me), say, another year (that means, gives me another chance to be a better girlfriend too) ?

I hate to think about the road that was not taken. Please.

p/s: Istikarah jalan terbaik?

The Ugly Truth

Sometimes we don't really know who our friends are do we?

 

Berapa banyak yang kita tahu pasal kawan kita yang orang lain tak tahu?

 

atau, berapa banyak yang orang lain tahu tapi kita tak tahu?

 

atau, berapa banyak yang orang lain tahu dan dia ingat kita tahu, walhal kita tak tahu, dan kalau kita tahu pun, kita akan jadi benci kawan kita?

 

bayangkan if forever you have been walked in to places and people gave you this look and you don't know why, or you said hai to somebody but they never replied.

 

and suddenly you know the answer why.

 

rase macam disialkan tak?

 

weh, kan dah cakap, susah ni nak jadi baik!

 

ps: SANI NAK KAWEN YOU ALL! NAK KAWEN! freekingg geettiiinnn mayyyyyyrrrrrreeeeeeeddddddddddddddd!!!!

 

Gadis Melayu lah sangat!

Gadis Melayu 1:

 

Memanglah seronok bawak budak-budak berjalan tapi penatlah dahla pakai BAJU KURUNG kena pakai kasut tinggi pulak tu.

 

Gadis Melayu 2:

 

Hari ni penat sangat sebab kene bawak budak X pegi jalan jalan.

 

(ps: X is a syndrome down kid)

 

WEH APE KE GADIS MELAYU NEHHH pakai baju kurung pon nak komplennnnn saba je lahhhh dahla kene bawak anak yatim pon macam tak ikhlas je.

 

Baik tengok Project Runway.

 

ps: Nak dapat suami macam Adam kenalah jadi setabah dan secantik Nur Amina kan? Mane nak carik Adam ni wehhhh

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cubaan mengepost blog dr emel.