YOU ARE SO NYEKIK

The most annoying nyekik thing to say in the world is

ADE BENDE NOK KABO EH..













DAKPE AH KEKGI U TAU LA TU.












Bloodyhell.

Dedikasi untuk Kartika Malini

Some women are single by their own choices.

They are either not ready; or you are not that good; or they don't mind to stay one.

it's their choice. no one is good enough to judge a woman who chose to stay single.

so next time you look down at us and say 'oh so pity you're so pathetic';

guess what, we think the same of you too for putting yourself in such misery and sick love lives.

so the next time you feel insecure about your boyfriend who is my ex;

fuck off. you are so not in my league.

i don't compete with someone who took my leftovers. THATS IT.

image : google.

Princess Perfect.

Princess Perfect thinks the world is her castle.

Princess Perfect thinks life runs by manual (written by her).

To Princess Perfect, we shouldn't be messy, shouldn't be scared, shouldn't feel annoyed.

Princess Perfect has the answers to all the questions in the world.

There's no such thing as 'AS IT IS' or 'JUST BECAUSE'. everything MUST have a reason.

Princess Perfect should live with Princess Gering so they can annoy each other until Princess Perfect realises, THERES NO FUCKING MANUAL AFTERALL.

because sometimes, in life, PEOPLE do get scared, they do get annoyed, AND THEY FUCKING DO THINGS THEIR OWN WAY AT THEIR OWN RISK ON THEIR OWN TIME.

but, princess perfect so perfect, she will not realise this whole thing.

3 July 2010

Hari ini, I akan menceritakan cerita tentang dunia penuh ketidakadilan mengamalkan double standard dan diskriminasi terhadap perempuan huduh.

Bismillah.

Pukul 9.50 saya dan Futsies tiba die Coffee Street untuk menonton Brazil vs Netherland. perlu diingat saya bukan sokong mana2 kumpulan tersebut, Saya Tegar Germany! Atas semangat kesukanan dan bola sepak (serta Van Persie dan Kaka yang yummy) kita berenam sampai jugak ke kedai big screen yang dah mula penuh.

Ada lebih kurang 8 orang sedang berdiri menunggu tempat. kesemuanya lelaki.

Tiba tiba Nurul nampak seorang jejaka kacak lantas ditegurnya. Oh, Ruben rupanya. Ini first time I jumpa Ruben. Selalu dengar nama saje. Rupenye Ruben dah nampak I Selasa lepas waktu game Spain Portugal. Malu I.

Ruben jemput kita orang duduk bersama. Tapi Ruben hanya ada satu meja kecil dan satu kerusi. Bagaimana?

Kami nampak ada sekumpulan lelaki bertiga, umur lingkungan 30an (seorang bermuka Chinese Look pakai cap putih, seorang berjersey Brazil, Seorang lagi I tak nampak, tapi one of them I yakin mesti bawa Caldina) sedang dengan selfishnya duduk di meja panjang sambung tiga (kau paham tak, 3 meja kecil sambung2 jadi panjang) dan lebih kurang 6 kerusi kosong. So I pahamlah maybe kawan dia suruh chop, but to try our luck, kita orang pergilah minta. As expected haruslah mereka tak bagi.

Tapi last-last kitorang dapat jugalah meja orang lain. Cukuplah kerusi meja maka kami pon duduk.

Tiba-tiba datang 3 orang perempuan. Seksi. I rasa umur baru 19-20. Lawa. Mekap macam nak pergi clubbing. Wangi. I tau sorang pakai Lancome Miracle sorang pakai DKNY Green Apple. rambut panjang mengurai. Baju jarang seluar ketat.

Tiba-tiba, lelaki lingkuan 30an penyokong Brazil terus offer kerusi dan meja yang tadinya kawan dia punya tu. WAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Mana mak tak naik darah you ol. Terusssssssssssss mak sokong Netherland situ situ jugak.

Dan hasilnya tengoklah. Doa orang yang teraniaya dimakbulkan Allah tau. terus Brazil balik kena tapau dek Belanda. Tak ke malu you'ol?

Yang besnye bila tinggal 10saat last I jeritlah countdown kann 10..9..8.. tu tiba tiba die sound OI DIAMLAH PEREMPUAN! hoi lelaki kurang hajar tak ada telur! Kepala hotakkkkkau!

I pedulik apa sampai pengadil tiup wisel I bangun joget joget. Hah Hah bodoh! balik bakar je jersey kau x pon lenyek dengan caldina korang tu.

Ha ade pekdah ke korang buat2 gentleman dengan perempuan lawa tadi tu? dapat ke korang heret diorang balik? yang lagi besnye dekat dekat nak abis I nampak boyfie boyfie si hotness datang menjemput. HAHAHA

Pulanglah lelaki pendiskriminasi kaum wanita huduh dengan kekecewaan awek lari dan BRAZIL KALAH!

Padan muka kau!

17 June 2010

Here in Kuantan for a girl slash lady :P watching football is as rare as to see KL with no jam. It is very sad that every time I walked into a Mamak / Rest / Warung all the guys will look at me as if they think I know nothing about football.

At first when we decided to play futsal seriously we didn't get this much humiliation from the people. but when i walked in a mamak and everybody started to look at me as if they have an x-ray device installed in their pair of eyes i started to feel uneasy.

Especially since I have no company to watch the games here. Sucks.

What if a girl likes to watch football. Yes before this all I do is watch them sweat, or drool over the most good looking, or whose jersey fits tight the most (uuu). But on top of all that now, I get the rules (most of it if not all), I know the players, I know their background and history, I know football terms and jargons, and most importantly I take note of their tactics and technics (they may be useful to our team in the future).

Stop looking at me as if i have no faking idea what football is.

I want to be able to scream ARGHHH missed itt!!! or goallll!!! without having all eyes on me. Screw you budak kampung.

Ah rindu UTP sudah. Rindu Nett Raja and Shimaaaaaaaa =(

oh oh plus sini memang pelik kalau perempuan lepak berjam jam order air x putus2. memang pelik ok. grow ur faking mind up.

1 April 2010

Aku tidak ada jawapan pada semua soalan.

Kenapa lalu jalan jauh bukan jalan dekat?
Kenapa beli mee di kedai depan tak di kedai belakang?
Kenapa makan bihun dengan nugget?
Kenapa itu kenapa ini

Soalan adalah normal apabila ianya ditanya sekali, tapi apabila ianya ditanya berulang kali, ia jadi Annoying. Paham tak?

Aku ada banyak masalah lain lagi nak fikir selain daripada kenapa parking di basement tidak di rooftop.

Sometimes, some things happened JUST BECAUSE.

Seronok nye menjadi orang yang tak ada masalah kegemukan, masalah kerja, masalah duit, dan masalah hati dan perasaan.

They have time to think why other people are watching TV3 instead of 8TV.

I don't. I have that 4 main problems that everytime I feel like wearing purple scarf with green shirt, I just do.

For no reason!

So stop asking me things and giving me directions, unless you can fix all that 4 things for me.


Nak main air lagi!!!!

Ps: Tanda tanda PMS menyerang!

18 March 2010

Mana-mana blog perempuan I baca mesi ada orang cerita pasal Dalil Cinta.

Faktor Satu : Fahrin Ahmad.


(source)

My besfren's mum is funny. Katanya 'orang tak ada kepandaian menguruskan rumahtangga pon ada orang nak. Anak aku ni kenapa belum ada orang nak?'

Hello kaum Adam. Ibu ibu ponnnn tekanan ok tgk kalau korang setinggi sehensem setough Fahrin Ahmad tapi pilih perempuan kecik molek mcm Amani.

Pleaseeeeee Lah.

Speaking of Tough, Hensem, Tinggi, and getting Married (boo ;p) disini ada satu jeritan luar biasa besar untuk kazen yang bakal berkahwin 2 hari Lagi!



Sengaja ambil gambar paling jambu.

Selamat Hari Lahir and Selamat menempuh alam rumahtangga.

It feels like only yesterday we both were running around the house trying to catch each other to pull the other's hair.

Ahh yes. we both were so naughty. Now, he's getting married =)

*happy and sad mixed up!*

20 Januari 2010

Awesome Aaron VS Gangster Gate

Alkisahnya, saya mengundur kereta untuk keluar dari porch. Pagar yang asalnya terbuka pegi tutup sendiri.

Kalau tiada angin masakan pagar tertutup.

Maka, Gedebangggg!!!


Aaron jadik mangsa!


Pagar bangang!

A few hours later, inilah hasilnya tampalan pada luka Aaron.



Lukanya tidak dalam, akan tetapi, PARUTNYA kekal sampai bila-bila.Tapi padan muka pagar tuh, cacat sampai bila bila haha puas hati aku!

Geramnya. Melayang duittttttt =(

Moral of the story, pakai gate letrik. takde maknenye tertutup sendiri.

ps: Kelajuan saya mereverse kereta == kelajuan angin tiup pagar. Parallel!

Ape Beza Memey dan Waheeda?

If you guys remember my post regarding an officemate who asked me if I ever went to disco, ok this post, is all about him.

We actually kind of having a deal untuk tuka location suka sama suka during bulan puasa. Since his wife is working in Kuantan and he is in Paka so he asked me if I'd like to switch location.

Of course lah I taknak since I want to stay in Kuantan kalau boleh forever and all kan tapi since I kesian kat his wife (what more, he has a very newborn baby girl) so I tolerate lah sedikit, fine lah bulan puasa will do.

And then one night I recieved a text from a strange number, which turns out to be him telling me that if I really want to do this, he will ask the boss ASAP. I replied 'Sure I don't mind during puasa'.

A few texts later, STRICTLY WORK SUBJECT, suddenly I received a text from an unknown number.

'HARAP AWAK TAHU BATASAN BERKAWAN DENGAN SUAMI ORANG'

WTF?

Ok I kind of know that it's his wife since they have the same number only the last number is different so I replied 'SORRY I DONT KNOW YOU'

you know what she replied?

'Takpe bukan salah awak. salah suami saya sebab tergila gilakan awak.'

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!

wey. seriously. it was only A FEW ONE LINER TEXTS WITH STRICTLY ONLY WORK MATTERS WEH. dahla I don't even have his husband's number.

MY GOD SERIOUSLY. die cek hp husband die every 2 minutes ke ape ni weh?

kesian my colleague kan? kesian tak ade bini macam tu?

weh susah ni nak jadi baik. sabar je la.

Bulan sangat terang

Have I told you guys I have a new baby to poke on the nose? Hehe.


Nur Alya Hana bt Qadri.

As much as I hate that she's named ALYA (please God don't let this one ended up GILA mcm Alya-Aliah yang ku kenali), i still love the idea that I don't have to twist the tounge to call her. Ha-ha.

Oh the process of the delivery is still taking more than 24hours (macam Qistina Arissa jugak) and she has to stay at the hospital for 17days after the labour. Hurmph!

By the way, we lost the Kuala Terengganu to them again. Hns. Goodbye to all the development and peace. Welcome hell and kesengsaraan sekali lagi. Oh yes you fool, kalau tak pernah kena halau dari sekolah kau sendiri, jangan cakap aku tak layak cakap pasal politik. Because we've been there to be their experimental specimen, and you just get to talk about perubahan.

Perubahan bontot kau.

And what the fuck Meet Uncle Hussain? Hah. Tapi satu yang aku tak puas hati pasal semalam...

SIAPA PUNYA IDEA YANG BODOH SANGAT LETAK KAIN-KAIN RENTANG MASA ESTRANGED PUNYE PERFORMANCE? WADEHEL WADEHEL WADEHEL BOLEH TGK ANDY 3 KALI JER AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

habis ketenangan cuti 5 hari ku. huh!

Now Pig has a new sound.

Jangan salahkan I, orang kata panggil nama itu macam satu doa.

During my highschool, people called me Zani. Ustazah kata jangan, pasal Zani tu maksudnya penzina.

So I stopped berzina (sangat!) because they stopped calling me Penzina. They called me Zac instead.

Still meaningless, but at least I didn't end up to be the last as always as any Zac has always been. (A to Z, daa?)

Now, they are calling me Memey. Jangan salahkan I, when I came here, suddenly Memey was a hot story all over Malaysia.

And there it goes, as how much as she needs free publicity because she's new in the entertainment industry, I need one too. Because I'm new here.

That totally works (for both of us), I can tell!

And today while reading Harian Metro with Memey's pic on the headline, the someone's husband walked in the room.

I was alone.

...

...

...

Afraid that doa might actually come true, I told him to come again when I'm not alone, as he might need advise from more experienced people.

I taknaklah nanti when people caught us, I ended up telling

"Saya tak sedar bila dia masuk ke dalam bilik ini. Pasal saya sibuk bekerja, dia tiba-tiba datang. Sumpah saya tak sedar. Saya dan dia cuma berkawan baik sahaja. Tapi kalau ada jodoh saya terima. Dan kalau jodoh tak panjang, saya redha terima nasib macam Kak tuttt. Nak buat macamana, takdir Tuhannnnnnn..."

Saya akhiri ucapan saya pada hari ini dengan lagu

Old McDonald had a farm... e i e i o
And on his farm he has some pigs.. e i e i o
and it goes Memey here memey there
memey memey memey everywhere
Old McDonald had a farm... e i e i o

Kita dengar apa kata pengkritikkkk

About first time lepak Starbucks Kerteh Mall

I hate to call it Mesra Mall. Like, sesuatu. Kerteh Mall pon orang paham jugak.

I got 2 hours after dropping mama at her talk of 'Menangani Stress di Kalangan Wanita'. I'm not that stressed, kononnya. So I thought of 'bathing' Aaron. Mama gave me RM10. I repeat, MAMA gave me RM TEN.

Diam-diam I pergi Kopitiam but it was closed. So I headed to Starbucks Kerteh Mall.

Gigih kan? Sanggup drive 40 minutes for the free Wifi. Dahla habis selekeh. Pakai t-shirt Mekar, seasoned jeans, Asadi (not Adidas) flipflop, and tudung pun tak gosok. Laptop and adaptor on right hand, left hand got handphone, purse, and car keys. Selekeh, tak?

I picked the most comfortable couch, tried to connect to the wireless for freaking 40 minutes (Hello. iPerintis bukan Tuhan, ok?) and went to purchase a cup of coffee.

Then I realized my purse is actually EMPTY. Fortunately, RM10 tadi ada dalam poket. So I have to order the cheapest one. Hot Brewed Coffee of the Week katenya. Taste like, kopi O tak cukup gula.

Bukak Facebook, Gmail, Blog, komen blog orang, write on people's walls, post blog lagi, chatting sket-sket, download lagu Afgan, (oh lupa bukak friendster!), dah penat, I laid back kejap. Sipping the freaking 7 bucks kopi O (so much for being high maintainance).

Then I heard makcik belakang I cakap;

'Tengok budak tu, pakai selekeh je, tapi mesti banyak duit.'

'Stended-lah perempuan sekarang. Kerja besar-besar, beli rumah, beli kereta, pergi oversea, duit berlambak - tapi sampai tua taknak kahwin.'

'Weekend je datang surf kat kedai kopi. Kawan-kawan lain dah beranak-pinak.'

'Hish. Nauzubillah.'

Seryesly? SERIOUSLY?

satu, do I really looked that old. That freaking OLD?

Dua, apa makcik ni ingat I pekak ke, or ingat I pakai iPod?

Kesian ok I; dahla not that tua, not yet banyak sangat duit (RM10 pon mintak ngan mak ok!), not yet pekak jugak.

Most importantly, bukan taknak kahwin. Tapi boyfriend pon takde.

Geddit? Boyfriend pon takde-lah!

Pernah tak rasa bengang sampai nak baling henfon?

Pernah tak jumping dapat satu SMS walaupon satu ayat je?

Pernah tak fikir 5 minutes to reply the SMS tapi bila dah sent tak ada reply?

Pernah tak tunggu reply sampai tertidur?

Pernah tak bangun tidur still tak ada reply?

Pernah tak check phone every 2 minutes takut-takut bunyik Tet Tet level 5 tuh tak dengar?

Pernah tak pergi breakfast purposely tinggal handphone kat rumah sebab bengang it won't receive any SMS (tapi inside still hoping)?

Pernah tak rasa disappointed gila babi sampai rasa nak baling henfon?

I pernah. Satu, kalau mintak emergency leave dengan Bos.

Dua, kalau pergi interview and orang tu cakap communicate thru SMS.

Tiga, boyfriend. Ataupon bakal boyfriend.

Tak, tak. Bukan boyfriend I. Bukan boyfriend orang lain jugak!

Perihal Pizza

Argh!

Italy!!!

Apsal kau SENGAL sangat, ha?

Penalty je kotttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!