I'm a happy person.

i was more a writing person. i write letters to myself. I dont do it anymore.

I need a space to cry. I need a space to look back at what i've done and what i've lost.

I need a space to regret of things that I missed.

Berpada-padalah dengan cinta sesama manusia, apatah lagi cinta terhadap manusia yang tidak berketahuan.

I did this to myself. I should know how to come back.

I should not take much time.

I should reserve this to him who is most deserving.

I should not become to obsessed.

I should learn not to keep things to myself. I should know how to let people know what I want and what I don't or else I'll be tortured.

I'm hurt.

I'm a happy person.

I'm a happy person with ego setinggi langit. I should know how to keep this to myself.

I'm not stupid. I'm brilliant in so many ways.

I'm not stupid and I'm a happy person.

I did this to myself. I should know how to come back.

I'm a happy person.

I'm a happy person.

I'm a happy person.

Tho happy, is too ambitious.

I'm a happy person.

La Tahzan

Everyday same old things
So used to feelin pain
Never had real love before
And it ain't her fault

She knows better but
She can't help it
Wanna tell her
But would that be selfish
How do you heal
A heart that can't feel, it's broken
His love is all she knows, all she knows, all she knows
His love is all she knows, all she knows, all she knows

- All She Knows. Bruno Mars.

Don't ever come close again. I've run away from you.

Don't ever come close. Don't ever find me.

Don't ever be nice.
Not even as a friend,
Not even as an acquaintance,
Not even as someone who passes by the road and laid your eyes on mine.

If I can't have you as a whole, I'd rather have nothing about you at all.

I've moved on.

23 March 2010

Ada satu kasut di kedai. I've benn eyeing on it.

Tapi nak beli tak mampu. Mahal.

Nak masuk cuba pun tak berani.

Atas dasar cinta pada kasut, hari hari saya lalu depan kedai.

Selagi kasut masih berada di atas rak, hati dah cukup rasa best.

Kadang-kadang bila tak dapat lalu, rasa rindu.

Dan sejak berbulan lepas, saya perhatikan,

Kasut punya peminat yang baru.

Saya dikhabarkan, kasut sudah ada empunya,

tunggu masa untuk bayar dan dibawa balik.

Hari-hari saya perhatikan kalau kasut sudah pergi.

Semalam saya lihat kasut itu dicuba-cuba ke kaki wanita lain.

Saya masih melihat dari luar kedai.

Kabur.

Hanya kerana kaki saya kusam,

dan kaki dia gebu,

maka disitu letaknya kasut itu?

Bukankah kasut yang indah patutnya diletakkan pada kaki yang buruk,

barulah saling melengkapi?

Kabur.

Hari ini dia baru mencuba, dan kasut lain sudah memuji

'Disitu letaknya kau, wahai kasut. Di kaki wanita ini'

Nanti esok-esok apabila dia bertapak dengan kasut yang indah itu

kau akan melihat sekalian alam memuji.

Ah. Lihat sahaja kedainya, Hani.

Kau Tak Layak.

ps: Kau percaya perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik?

Aku mahu lelaki yang baik, untuk jadikan aku perempuan yang baik.

Tak Perlu.

Dear, kau.

Hati ini.

Bukan pondok yang kau boleh datang dan pergi.

Sesuka Hati.


ps: Nine, tak perlu kot nyanyi lagu Gigi. Menggigil I, you!

Masalah-nya;

Like every morning that annoying sound and vibrate from your alarm phone wake you up.

You hate that sound; you hate that freaking annoying vibrating that screams 'Hey wake up! Your dream is over!'

You hate it you want to slam it over the wall but you came to your senses at an instance;

That dream remained a dream. Come back to reality.

Tonight, have another dream, until you feel like slamming that very phone to the wall again.

That is how this hits me; painfully on my chest.



I feel like deleting the comment, banging the person with a chair and what nots. Until I came to my senses (which also; at an instance).

This is like a wake-up call to me. Stop living in a princess world. Come back to reality.

Persoalannya; will I ever have enough attributes to be the RIGHT girl?

Memanglah

Kalau tak, dah jumpa 5 tahun lepas.
Kalau tak, 20 tahun lepas pun dah jumpa.

Tapi kalau dah nak jumpa sekarang,
mesti ada sebab, kan?

Entahlah. Sebab Tuhan saja yang tahu.
Mungkin ada, mungkin tak ada; sebab.

Tapi, 20 years of no clue,
Is like worth another 200 years
Of knowing You.

Even if for 2 days only.
=)

because the Field is Green;

2 years ago;
Magh and Raje would always run.
I would always sit on the edge of the field.
Or sometimes I would stand. Alone; or with them.

When the sun shine brightly; or sometimes rain pour heavily.
Under the bright blue sky, or the borrowed broken umbrella;

We stood there; witnessing, observing, cheering. Sometimes we even sing.
I always have a thing for him. I mean, for the green field.

Today;
In this cold shivering air-conditioned room; floor is red-carpeted; this very chair is holding my weigh;

and I am all alone with no Magh, no Raja;
There he stood; mumbling things I barely understood.

I could understand, but I chose not to. Because it's a lot of waste of time to listen to that than to indulge in this sweet scent of his perfume.

When Ain screamed because her certain-him viewed her online;
And Hazirah having a bad day for the status on her certain-him's Gtalk;

I got to (almost) talk to my certain-him. Sweet.

I always have a thing; for the god-forbid smell of sweats; and now for the sweet smell of the perfume.

Just when I think this place, sucks; I started to fall in love with him.
I mean, with this place. =)

Ps: Oh, I still have Raja (on the Gtalk) and Magh (on the phone) around. Thanks (to the technology)!

Perihal Rumah

I'm coming tonite.

To that where I feel belonged.

To that land I tasted freedom.

To that room I found true friends.

To that field I met first love.

To that restaurant I chatted all nite.

To that hall I scream to victory.

To that which owns my joy and pain.

To that place I can no longer call mine.

To that home I truly missed.

I'm coming to UTP tonite (perhaps; for the last time)

Perihal Lahir

If only I knew, dear.

10 days ago, I'd sing you Happy Birthday.

=)