We lost our dearly Ayah Chik last Saturday.
It felt surreal.
Perhaps because we just lost Ayah Ngah 9 months ago, even that is not processed yet.
The whole 18 hours of witnessing his last moments keep on playing in me head on repeat.
I was on half day leave on Friday, was supposed to accompany Yan to pick up her SCKLM kit in KL.
We were having lunch at Lubuk Bangku when Mama called.
Asking me to go visit Ayah Chik promptly because his condition was getting worst.
Ayah Chik was already in CVSKL for about one week but NOT ONE of us actually visited him because we thought... nothing was serious.
But clearly we didn't know better.
He laid flat in the ICU, there were about 20 doctors and nurses around him.
One of the nurses was even standing on the bed reassuring herself could apply most pressure on Ayah Chik's chest.
We were told to leave the ICU.
The doctor told us that it's not looking good.
Soon the ICU waiting room is filled with more and more familiar faces.
From Zohor to Asar to Maghrib to Isyak, we just couldn't leave.
We took turns to sit on the floor, stood near the elevator, slept on the couch.
From babies to elderly.
Mama and Ayah arrived from Terengganu.
No one is allowed in the ICU, but we still wait outside.
12am, 28th September 2019, the doctor let everyone in the ICU.
There was nothing else they could do.
All we can do is to be next to him and be with him.
We saw the BP dropping.. from 80 to 50.. to 40..
We were so tired, we took turns to take a nap..
10, 20, 30 minutes
6am.. we all prayed subuh.. I was done first, so I went to his room
There were only Abe, JJ, CikBi.. and we saw his BP dropped...
Abe stopped whispering to his ears, he just stood there, clueless and still
"Sejuk.. tak ada darah.. sejuk.." he said that a few times..
And then a nurse came "dia dah nak takde dah ni.."
he looked so peaceful, not at all struggling during his last breaths..
I stood back.. in the corner of the room, couldn't hold my tears as I saw one by one coming in the room
and in a blink of an eye the room is filled with people who loved him dearly...
and whom he has loved his entire life
BP still dropping.. from 19..18...
the doctor declared the time, 6.30 am, 28th September 2019.
We lost him.
It still feels so surreal.
We miss you Ayah Chik.
We miss all your antics.
We Love you.
It felt surreal.
Perhaps because we just lost Ayah Ngah 9 months ago, even that is not processed yet.
The whole 18 hours of witnessing his last moments keep on playing in me head on repeat.
I was on half day leave on Friday, was supposed to accompany Yan to pick up her SCKLM kit in KL.
We were having lunch at Lubuk Bangku when Mama called.
Asking me to go visit Ayah Chik promptly because his condition was getting worst.
Ayah Chik was already in CVSKL for about one week but NOT ONE of us actually visited him because we thought... nothing was serious.
But clearly we didn't know better.
He laid flat in the ICU, there were about 20 doctors and nurses around him.
One of the nurses was even standing on the bed reassuring herself could apply most pressure on Ayah Chik's chest.
We were told to leave the ICU.
The doctor told us that it's not looking good.
Soon the ICU waiting room is filled with more and more familiar faces.
From Zohor to Asar to Maghrib to Isyak, we just couldn't leave.
We took turns to sit on the floor, stood near the elevator, slept on the couch.
From babies to elderly.
Mama and Ayah arrived from Terengganu.
No one is allowed in the ICU, but we still wait outside.
12am, 28th September 2019, the doctor let everyone in the ICU.
There was nothing else they could do.
All we can do is to be next to him and be with him.
We saw the BP dropping.. from 80 to 50.. to 40..
We were so tired, we took turns to take a nap..
10, 20, 30 minutes
6am.. we all prayed subuh.. I was done first, so I went to his room
There were only Abe, JJ, CikBi.. and we saw his BP dropped...
Abe stopped whispering to his ears, he just stood there, clueless and still
"Sejuk.. tak ada darah.. sejuk.." he said that a few times..
And then a nurse came "dia dah nak takde dah ni.."
he looked so peaceful, not at all struggling during his last breaths..
I stood back.. in the corner of the room, couldn't hold my tears as I saw one by one coming in the room
and in a blink of an eye the room is filled with people who loved him dearly...
and whom he has loved his entire life
BP still dropping.. from 19..18...
the doctor declared the time, 6.30 am, 28th September 2019.
We lost him.
It still feels so surreal.
We miss you Ayah Chik.
We miss all your antics.
We Love you.
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