Half Year has passed

Half year has passed, since. A lot, I swear this year, a Lot of things have happened and I am tired.

Started with some crazy idea to further study and then to do it abroad, the chase for the sponsorship which eventually I failed anyway. The travels to education agents to secure university places (which I scored, 2 in fact) and the preparation for mental and physical all at once in 6 months just to be disappointed by the news that no, I didn't secure the sponsorship. Not to mention all the ridiculous and brain-draining tests, and their costs. It costed me a lot of money.

And all the travels in between. Jogja, Jakarta, Kota Kinabalu, Family Day, Bali. Everything, all at once.

I could, if I wanted to, go miles further but this, what I already did, is already too much for me to take. I was actually too comfortable in my comfort zone and then I realised I needed to make a move because everybody is going somewhere and I'm not, so I did. But I'm tired now.

Raja-Khairuddin, Syaz S SBSC-ITV/OI [4:27 PM]:zacppl going placeplacesdoing stuffwe should do somethingthis yearkaman

When Raja asked me this, I had to be honest. I am beyond devastation. Of all people, I know I am the one who deserve the sponsorship the most but I did not get it. Now I have to plan a new plan and think of a new something and do what I have to do.

But I'm tired. Half year has passed and I'm still here. Tired.

If you see me, stop asking me to do something. Stop telling me to find new job or buy a house or change my car or find a boyfriend or whatever. I tried to do something but I failed so please. Just let me be.

Comfort in my comfort zone for a while. Because I'm tired.